


Metathesiophobia

by Green_T



Series: DSMP-2 AU [6]
Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Breaking The 4th Wall, DSMP-2 AU, Gen, Jelly bean defys reality and is somehow able to talk, Meta, Mild Gore, Surreal, Takes place a day before the elections, blame the church, this is not a plot hole
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:20:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29970414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Green_T/pseuds/Green_T
Summary: The new inhabitant of the church meets the server admin, somehow dodges a ban, and gets incredibly confused.
Series: DSMP-2 AU [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2204193
Kudos: 2





	Metathesiophobia

Light fades in through the simplistic stained glass architecture of the walls, the church was built of white glistening concrete clean enough to give one snow blindness from staring too long accompanied by purple accents in the crown shaped windows, al light piercing in taking a vaguely purple hue and leaving dancing images on the floor. The fountain still gurgles with the water slowly cascading down back into the floors to be recycled back to the top. Under the inner rim of the fountain hides quite the sight hidden.

Ponk steps into the Church of prime with a pep in his step, he has plans today to make some extra shoes and armour sets to go in the church considering a few sets of the shoes were worn out and one of the armour sets was broken after falling into a pit accidentally. Actually observing the church he noticed some faint stains? It looked a bit blue but most there was also a thin translucent fluid on the flood, when be leant over to touch it it felt slick like oil, the blue liquid was drying up on the floor as well as mixing and dissolving into the clear liquid. He would have to clean this all up, looks like someone tried to consider water from the fountain was splashed across the floors as well.

Unbeknownst to the minister the culprit of the mess of subtle gore across the floor was currently right below him, curled up under the inner ledge of the fountain drain laid a now startlingly more anthropomorphic beast, curled up around itself wrapped in 4 arms as the deluge of holy fountain water rose over its body like a draping blanket as it flowed past back into the fountains reservoir recirculating the water ad infinitum. Hearing the sounds of footsteps the creature wheezes out a muffled hiss, being drowned out by the water wrapping around them like a soothing embrace, silencing their panic and woes with the whispering of the water. Seeing the glistening light through the water reflect off a hand reaching in to fill a bucket sends them squeezing back further into the grate watching intently.

Ponk eventually finished cleaning up the mess and setting out newly dyed armour to dry in the windowsills of the church, removing his slippers at the exit and walking back out to the harrowing lands of Manberg and the greater SMP.

_ Find a place, join the stage, tell a story. _

Eventually like any creature in a burrow they must strike out. Rising up out of the water seems like second nature at this point, as if it's what they've done their whole life. Maybe that's the truth really. Climbing out of the fountain holy water drips from their maw and slits in their throat closing after the water clears like gills shying away from the air. Perhaps it's hunger that drives them? Or the church bells ringing within their mind, incessant, desperate. However it comes to be all that matters is they have left the water and are already ruining the freshly cleaned floors of the church. Where once there were wounds now its fields of ragged scar like carapace, with a slight sheen and a muted lavender hue. Dull magenta eyes peek around the corners of the church and run 4 hands across the walls. Padding out the front entrance of the church-  _ onto the greater stage  _ \- they walk past the grassy marked boundaries of holy land and take the first steps onto the prime path. It feels like home.

They wander, it feels restless in nature but in reality they have only been out of the church for a few sparse minutes, they push through grasses and find a lily of the valley. They place their hands at the roots and gently pull it from the ground, not damaging or forceful, just gentle tugs until it uproots in their grasp. They carry it with them. Breaking the tall grass in their wake leads to the discovery of wheat seeds, they don't taste good, they eat them anyway. Shortly after they wander off the path into a thin forest with shrubbery that looms over them. They look confused.

[Dream has joined the game]

[Dream: whatś this im hearing about someone breaking the whitelist?]

[Ponk: ign is G_JellyBean64 we dunno how they got on]

They stopped, something felt wrong, in their vision they could see a ghost of lettering, dashes of messages, and before them large in broken fluctuating lettering was

[You have been banned]

Nothing happened, the jittering text faded away and nothing changed, they kept walking. Turning their arm around looking at the fading box with words scrolling by.

[Teleported Dream to G_JellyBean64] Suddenly the creature is taking a step back as before them hovers an inhuman looking creature with floating hands and a floating round head, a halo glows faintly behind it. It takes them a moment to catch up with what just happened before the tingling of church bells fill in the blanks.

¨oh… It's god. Hi god, have you fallen?¨ the creature's voice is raspy and worn, like gravel and silt. They sound confused and content in equal parts.

¨wha- no- How did you get on the server? Why didn´t banning you work.¨ he looks down from where he floats at the miniscule looking player, no proper outfit, 4 arms, covered in dull purple scars and blue stains like blood dripping from the scars, staring at him with respect but lacking any other look of reverence of mischief that he would expect from a fan hacking into the server. The ign floating above the player matches the one he input in the command to ban so it should have worked. 

¨I don't understand… What are you asking us?¨ they tilted their head at him in an obvious display of confusion.

¨How and why are you here.¨ This person seems to not be catching on to the obvious, or playing dumb perhaps?

¨We were in the water in the holy lands, i'm here for something, the stage? Maybe¨

¨Ẅhy can´t I ban you, what hack did you use? Your not supposed to be here.¨

¨ What's a ban? And a hack? If you want me to leave, can I just go back in the water? I think...¨ Something here was not matching up… He needs to look more into this.

¨No, don´t go back to the church, could you actually sit right here for me? I need to look some things over and ask more questions.¨

¨I think so.¨ they sit on the ground, the grass engulfing them nearly hiding them completely from view. Pulling up nameMC he types in the playerś in finding the exact accounts name and opening its skin history. This did not help at all. Not only did the current skin not match to what he was seeing at all, neither did any previous skin on the account, of which there were only 2. As well as the accounts age being a few years at most while this player showed obvious confusion at simple terms like a ban. 

¨Are you a shapeshifter Jelly Bean?¨ It would explain some but not by any actual logic, he supposes they could be deleting the skin?

¨I had 8 legs and no arms at some point? I don't remember. All we remember is the water in the church.¨ They looped back to the church of prime again. That seems to be the only thing they care about? Why would they refer to him as god outside of his standing in the church of prime.

¨ẅhat. Are you.¨ the players eyes widened at the question, they looked at their hands confused and then looked back at him, scared? 

¨Ï… don't know¨ it hissed lowly. They seemed to look around them with new eyes

¨I don't know...¨

¨Do you know where you are?¨ This was getting more and more surreal by the second. Maybe looking at the server logs would help.

¨No.¨

The logs were something, most of it was normal but after this player joined a few hours before multiple recurring warnings had cropped up along with his ban command completely failing. As far as he could decipher this playerś ign wasn't… real? More like a placeholder for a missing value, as well as uh. Everything about them… their player data pack is a wreck he can't even figure out, it's barely even javascript.

¨Do you have a name? Or like, a twitter or something...¨ Why did he even ask that.

¨I don't know what twitter is, I'm sorry.¨ -How about a name?¨

¨I don't know what that is either.¨

¨Do you know anything.¨ This has to be some sort of nightmare because this makes no sense.

¨Ï know twitch exists… ist not here though is it? I'm not out there, i'm in here.¨

¨You're in here?¨

¨Just here, we've only ever been here.¨

¨Do you know what minecraft even is?¨ was this really happening right now.

¨no.¨

¨So is this you right now? All you are is like, right here.¨

¨I hope so.¨ This… He is going to need more time to look into this, he needs an explanation now though.

[Dream: Issues resolved guys, Itś just a new server member, Iĺl tell you about it later]

¨Well. Welcome to the DreamSMP, Jelly Bean? I'm the admin Dream, we probably have some things to discuss just, go back to the Church at some point and try not to break anything… I´ll find you in a bit.¨

¨okay?¨

[Dream has left the game]

The player still sitting in the grass doesn't seem to be moving any time soon

¨What is all this… Who, wh-, Why won't the bells stop ringing.¨

_ Welcome to the stage, play well, get primes, tell a story, don´t die, yet _

¨What do you mean...¨

…

¨Ẅell chat gonna be honest I dunno who that is or why they are on the server, may just be someone Dream decided needed some recognition? Maybe we can find em and see what they are up to.¨ He was still on a call with Tommy from some of the decorating for the elections tomorrow. It was certain to be a show so maybe fooling around and trolling the newbie a bit would space it out some.

¨I think we just go kill em, they won't have any armour or gear itĺl be hilarious.¨

¨That's just annoying Tommy, if we want to mess with them we gotta be sneaky about it, and incomprehensible. First step is finding them.¨

[TommyInnit: Hey G bitch! What's your cords!]

¨You’re such a child Tommy, ask like this.¨

[WilburSoot: We want to show you on stream, its free clout, no murder involved]

[AweSamDude: Thats most definitely a lie]

[WilburSoot: You think so little of me sam]

[TommyInnit: Do they have chat off, thats a dumb way to get free clout]

[WilburSoot: Should I feel insulted or are they AFK]

[AweSamDude: A mystery at its finest]

[TommyInnit: Sherlock innit]

[WilburSoot: Is this your new persona or are you trying to be funny. Neither work]

Rummaging around in random chests the small inhuman player glances at their fore arm every few seconds to a small wavering screen with text.

¨What is this thing… What is anything, why can I talk, Why am I even thinking- Oh more food.¨ They had found a building resembling a fish hook and some strange storage containers had spare objects in them. They didn't break anything so this should be fine.

Definitely.

  
  
  



End file.
